The confused woman strikes again!
Yes, Frances Ong strikes again, and even more confused than before.
First attempt at clarification : 'Never did I claim that to obey is not to question....'
OK, you question. So after questioning, what did you do? Obey his wishes although you question them? Or if you question their wishes, then just follow what you think is right? If it's the latter that you choose, please, don't tell me this is 'to obey'!
Second attempt at clarification : 'I did promote the idea that women should not speak up and fight for their happiness and dreams...'
Fine, so that means we should speak up and fight for our happiness and dreams yeah? So how to 'obey' if you speak up? Or do you speak up and fight, but in the end, after saying all you felt like saying, you go back to being obedient? Ha....please please, don't encourage the all-words, no-action culture to be practised here. It just makes the male population even more convinced that women are pure naggers and whiners.
Third attempt at clarificaiton : '...I did not see why a wife should give up her dreams just becos she is married. However, as she climbs up the corporate ladder, she should be mindful that she is part of a family unit. If she doesn't care to shower attention on her husband, other women might be more willing to do that.'
Cool! Same goes, if the husband is not mindful that when climbing up the corporate ladder, he should not forget that he also has to shower care and attention on his wife, if not, other men might be more willing to do that. Not that I don't think her theory is not right, but I think it's not something unique to only the female population. Vice versa, it happens to the male population as well. She makes it sounds like if I don't suck up to my husband, he will find someone else to suck up to him. On the contrary, I really feel the urge to agree with her though. simply because of the fact that men are really that chauvenistic and shallow animals. Once he doesn't feel your attention showering, he goes for other gals. He doesn't try to find out why. He doesn't blame himself. He doesn't even think that he may be at fault, maybe he was too engrossed in work and had stopped showering care and concern on his wife, or he was too tired and has ignored his wife, or his wife is too tired but he doesn't care less cos he wants to be on the attention receving end more than the attention giving end. Maybe guys are really animals who won't give, unless he receives. But by agreeing that men are ungrateful and unfaithful creatures, Frances still doesn't get my vote that we should therefore, forcus on showering our attention on them so that they won't flirt around.
Fourth attempt at clarification : 'If she decides to have children, she should share the responsibility with her husband to bring them up well and not use surrogate parents like maids or grandparents.'
Yeah, I agree. And I also agree that the father should not shirk the responsibility too, and treat his wife as the surrogate father. In today's context, many families survive on dual income. Which means mothers have to work too. I'm not declaring that women do not need to take care of the family because they are working too. I just wanna make it straight that both parents should play equal parts in bringing up the kids. The idea of pushing the blame on women whenever things aren't right simply because they are not housewives is unforgiveable. Men stray because wives don't shower enough attention? Kids are not brought up well because women don't stay home enough to teach? And when the time comes when the women stay in, they should have lesser say because they don't know enough of the world? Or they contribute less in terms of money at home (don't say it doesn't happen, but some guys do have a tendency to think that way)? Or that when husbands don't shower enough attention, we should not fault them as they have the valid reason of chasing their aspirations at work? Or that we are unattractive enough and will not have some other guys who is more than willing to give us the attention if our husbands don't?
Frances, if you are talking about relationships, talk in terms of improvement or focus from both parties' point of view. Don't only harp on the women's side. I won't fault Ms Rene Yap for thinking that you are an avid supporter of being a totally submissive wife. Afterall, you did gave the idea through your passage.
First attempt at clarification : 'Never did I claim that to obey is not to question....'
OK, you question. So after questioning, what did you do? Obey his wishes although you question them? Or if you question their wishes, then just follow what you think is right? If it's the latter that you choose, please, don't tell me this is 'to obey'!
Second attempt at clarification : 'I did promote the idea that women should not speak up and fight for their happiness and dreams...'
Fine, so that means we should speak up and fight for our happiness and dreams yeah? So how to 'obey' if you speak up? Or do you speak up and fight, but in the end, after saying all you felt like saying, you go back to being obedient? Ha....please please, don't encourage the all-words, no-action culture to be practised here. It just makes the male population even more convinced that women are pure naggers and whiners.
Third attempt at clarificaiton : '...I did not see why a wife should give up her dreams just becos she is married. However, as she climbs up the corporate ladder, she should be mindful that she is part of a family unit. If she doesn't care to shower attention on her husband, other women might be more willing to do that.'
Cool! Same goes, if the husband is not mindful that when climbing up the corporate ladder, he should not forget that he also has to shower care and attention on his wife, if not, other men might be more willing to do that. Not that I don't think her theory is not right, but I think it's not something unique to only the female population. Vice versa, it happens to the male population as well. She makes it sounds like if I don't suck up to my husband, he will find someone else to suck up to him. On the contrary, I really feel the urge to agree with her though. simply because of the fact that men are really that chauvenistic and shallow animals. Once he doesn't feel your attention showering, he goes for other gals. He doesn't try to find out why. He doesn't blame himself. He doesn't even think that he may be at fault, maybe he was too engrossed in work and had stopped showering care and concern on his wife, or he was too tired and has ignored his wife, or his wife is too tired but he doesn't care less cos he wants to be on the attention receving end more than the attention giving end. Maybe guys are really animals who won't give, unless he receives. But by agreeing that men are ungrateful and unfaithful creatures, Frances still doesn't get my vote that we should therefore, forcus on showering our attention on them so that they won't flirt around.
Fourth attempt at clarification : 'If she decides to have children, she should share the responsibility with her husband to bring them up well and not use surrogate parents like maids or grandparents.'
Yeah, I agree. And I also agree that the father should not shirk the responsibility too, and treat his wife as the surrogate father. In today's context, many families survive on dual income. Which means mothers have to work too. I'm not declaring that women do not need to take care of the family because they are working too. I just wanna make it straight that both parents should play equal parts in bringing up the kids. The idea of pushing the blame on women whenever things aren't right simply because they are not housewives is unforgiveable. Men stray because wives don't shower enough attention? Kids are not brought up well because women don't stay home enough to teach? And when the time comes when the women stay in, they should have lesser say because they don't know enough of the world? Or they contribute less in terms of money at home (don't say it doesn't happen, but some guys do have a tendency to think that way)? Or that when husbands don't shower enough attention, we should not fault them as they have the valid reason of chasing their aspirations at work? Or that we are unattractive enough and will not have some other guys who is more than willing to give us the attention if our husbands don't?
Frances, if you are talking about relationships, talk in terms of improvement or focus from both parties' point of view. Don't only harp on the women's side. I won't fault Ms Rene Yap for thinking that you are an avid supporter of being a totally submissive wife. Afterall, you did gave the idea through your passage.
posted by Caller From The Falls at 8:10 PM
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